Rated: PG-13 (Parents: There's a lot of swearing)

There is a cool concept buried beneath the mountain of clichés, stock characters and predictable plot of Battleship but director Peter Berg (Friday Night Lights) just isn’t deft enough to produce anything more than a mash-up of Independence Day and Transformers, movies that weren’t great to begin with. An epic entry into the disaster genre, this special effects flick is nothing more than a brainless summer action movie with a clever twist—it’s set at sea.

2012 is destined to go down as the year that actor Taylor Kitsch (John Carter) helmed two spectacular failures. Here he plays a generic bad-boy-slacker-with-incredible-potential that is forced into the Navy by his brother (True Blood’s Alexander Skarsgard) while having a tryst with the Admiral’s hot daughter (Brooklyn Decker). Kitsch’s Lt. Hopper is pressed into a leadership role when a mysterious alien force crashes into Hawaii and puts up a magical bubble while they set up communication back to their own planet.

The story--which comes from the Michael Bay school of filmmaking (an excuse for special effects and product placement)--is a mash of clichés that encourage viewers to turn off their brains and chow down on popcorn.  The effects are spectacular, granted, and there is enough action to keep the proceedings from being bogged down but The Avengers recently reminded us how good a summer action flick can be and the empty throwback style of Battleship leaves us wanting for something of substance. 

Battleship’s failings are heightened its flashes of promise. Liam Neeson, Rihanna, and Tadanobu Asano (Thor) all turn in solid performances but their collective screen time is a small fraction of the whole. Left on the screen is an unexplored subplot about the psychic powers of the invaders that seems to imply that Earth may be to blame for the invasion of our world. The alien ships only attack when provoked and spare targets that aren’t judged to be threats, which may raise questions about the intentions attackers (though their targets seem chosen because they will look cool blown up rather than because they have any strategic purpose.) Sadly these points are left unexplored as the film defers to ridiculous, hackneyed subplots that have been done to death in a dozen movies in the last decade.

Few were clamoring for a big screen adaptation of the classic Hasbro strategy game and those that were will be confused by the odd decisions made in this flick. Rather than being a movie about naval strategy—even a simplifying, Top Gun-ing of the material—this absurd concept tries to honor the service (and there’s plenty of military porn for fans to drool over) but ends up being silly despite setting expectations incredibly low.

Clichéd and loud, Battleship is a simple, silly summer popcorn flick and nothing more. Check your brain at the door.

Rated: C-

Recommended If You Like:

• Independence Day
• Transformers
• Men in Black II

Rated: R

Sketch comedian Sacha Baron Cohen returns to the big screen in a starring role as The Dictator, a marginally-funny comedy that features a stellar, encompassing performance from its star. Structurally more akin to classic cinematic comedies like Caddyshack than Cohen’s own feature debut Borat, the plot of The Dictator is just a placeholder for bits that contrast the displaced dictator’s racist, misogynistic and evil characteristics against the easygoing hippie backdrop of Brooklyn.

Sacha Baron Cohen completely dives into his characters like few other actors—Peter Sellers and Johnny Depp are on that short list—and his portrayal of a despotic dictator does not disappoint. There are plenty of jokes that will inflame the sensibilities of politically-correct viewers but they are about all this flick has to offer: There are few good laughs in this short movie that somehow manages to feel over long and tedious at just 80 minutes.

The primary problem with The Dictator is that it feels generic, lacking the biting sense of humor that marked Borat and Bruno, and the few good gags the movie has were spoiled by the (copious) marketing for the movie, ruining their surprise. The direction, too, seems to be a slave to the plot, eschewing improvisation for pedestrian scripted gags. A shame, considering the comedic and thespian talent collected in this film, including John C. Reilly, Sir Ben Kingsley and Anna Farris who turn in decent but uninspired performances.

That said, The Dictator does have some moments of brilliance: Baron Cohen puts together a scathing condemnation of religious extremism and narrow-mindedness through the lens of the radical extremists who blow themselves up in order to make a point. There has been a mindset that gives these groups a pass for their extremist behavior because there is a fear that it would enflame tensions. Baron Cohen pulls no punches, however, in using racist/xenophobic/misogynistic humor to illuminate his position. When the filmmakers feature these jokes instead of uninspired sitcom-style bits, the movie is absolutely hilarious. Sadly these moments are the minority, leaving a product with a lot of wasted potential.

Rated: C

Recommended If You Like:

• Borat
• Horrible Bosses
• Bruno

Rated: PG-13

Despite what you may have been lead to believe by the commercials and trailers for Tim Burton’s Dark Shadows, it is most certainly not a comedy. There are moments of levity, sure, that come from the inherently absurd setting of a displaced vampire arriving in the 1970s but Dark Shadows is more in line with the 1970s supernatural soap opera that inspired it. A very Burton/Johnny Depp movie that seems made to entertain the peculiar sensibilities of the filmmakers rather than a general audience, Dark Shadows is technically proficient, beautifully designed and shot, but lacking in plot and characters.

Dark Shadows is the story of a vampire, locked in a crypt for 200 years, unleashed in 1970 to an unfamiliar world. He takes up residence with a family that purchased his estate and makes their lives miserable not because he is an evil vampire, but instead because he’s rather obnoxious and needy.  Plus Barnabus is involved in a centuries-old feud with the witch who cursed him to eternal damnation.

The most important thing to note about Dark Shadows is how esoteric the whole thing is: If you like the Burton aesthetic and dig Depp’s “disappear into makeup” style of character development, you’ll likely enjoy this movie. The duo have combined for a half-dozen flicks including Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Sweeny Todd, and Edward Scissorhands, but the shtick wore out its welcome in the absurd Alice in Wonderland where Depp felt content in affecting wildly without any observable sense.

The performances in Dark Shadows are all perfunctory though Michelle Pfifer, whose plastic surgery gives her an unnatural look—stands out. Eva Green (Casino Royale) and Chloe Moretz (Kick Ass) also star.

A dull film about relationship issues between supernatural people, Dark Shadows is a serious update of the TV soap opera and little more.  Burton and Depp work through their own issues in the film which may freeze out casual viewers.

Rating: C+

Recommended If You Like: 

• Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
• Woman in Black
• Pride and Prejudice

Rated: R

It’s a shame that the made-for-TV movie has become a marker of cheap, melodramatic movies because Robert Rodriguez’ 1994 flick Roadracers—a stylish drama that’s like American Graffiti meets Pulp Fiction—could be a proving ground for unknown directors to practice their craft with a low budget and serve as an outlet for actors to become discovered. Starring David Arquette (Scream), Salma Hayek (Desperado) and John Hawkes (Martha Marcy May Marlene), this tale of a rebellious rocker who fights the law while bumming around the streets of a nondescript southern town is as much wish fulfillment for the writers as it is homage to the 50s flicks that inspired it.  Loaded with great dirty bluesy rock, Roadracers is an unexpected treat.

Written by Rodriguez (Desperado, Spy Kids, and Sin City) and partner Tommy Nix write the lead characters like stylized versions of themselves, planted straight into a gritty James Dean movie. The film’s surprising depth and wonderful style shows great promise for the future of all its parts.  Rodriguez has become a filmmaker who bucked the studio system, making movies his way.

John Hawkes steals every scene he’s in, as is his wont. A nerdy, awkward Jughead to Dude’s (Arquette) charismatic rebel, Nixer seems like an amalgamation of writer Tommy Nix and frequent Rodriguez collaborator, Pulp Fiction director Quentin Tarantino.

The filmmaker’s love of movies is obvious in both homage to greaser stories like The Outsiders and subtle connections to classic American cinema, including a cameo appearance from actor Kevin McCarthy, the star of the 1956 sci-fi horror classic Invasion of the Body Snatchers when the characters are watching the film theatrically.

Dude battles a group of local toughs, a police captain out for his head, and his own fear of applying his incredible talents because he fears failing. Taking the path of least resistance, Dude’s eventual struggle for what he loves is a tragic reminder of the pains of growing up. Do you sell out for your dream or stay true (and poor?) Do you deny who you are or embrace your destiny?

A solid, uneven film that has a harsh turn in its third act, Roadracers is a sign of what is to come for the careers of all involved.

Rated: B

Recommended If You Like:

• Desperado
• The Outsiders
• Cool Hand Luke

Rated: PG-13

Joss Whedon has done what many thought impossible: Making a team superhero movie that manages to balance character, story, and action while remaining true to the source material. The Avengers is a rip-roaring adventure that is intense, funny, and smart. Accessible to new viewers and a great payoff for fans of the movie series since its inception with the original Iron Man in 2008, The Avengers sets the bar incredibly high for the rest of the summer.

In the off chance you haven’t seen any of the blockbuster films that have lead into The Avengers, this film is the story of a team that comes together to battle an intergalactic threat lead by the Asgardian god Loki (Tom Hiddleston, reprising his role from Thor). Chris Evans, Robert Downey Jr. and Chris Hemsworth return as Captain America, Iron Man and Thor respectively, while Mark Ruffalo joins the cast as Bruce Banner (whose alter-ego The Hulk steals every scene he’s in).

Tossing these characters together and making them fight would not have been difficult; where Whedon shines is crafting a story that satisfies fans by giving them plenty of action while staying true to the characters. The Avengers are a bunch of super-powered egomaniacs that do not play well with others. Whedon, in his indomitable style, never lets the characters disappear to serve the story: Each character has a unique voice and style that makes the final battle that much more satisfying. The script is chock full of great lines that rarely feel forced, though the midsection of the movie drags a bit as the team hashes out Loki’s sinister plot.

The Avengers is benefitted by great cinematography, editing, and effects. The filmmakers use inventive angles and reflections to frame shots in new, interesting ways, never feeling constrained by reality. Cut in a way that keeps the action flowing and engages all the characters, highlighting their strengths and differences—this is a team and their differences are what make them great.

Finally, the special effects. There were times that I stopped and thought, “This isn’t real. It’s all created on a computer.” And yet, to my eye, these are some of the most realistic, effective CGI ever committed to the screen. Both in the quality of the effects and their staging, The Avengers are believable not only as characters but living, breathing entities. I know, in my head, that The Hulk and Thor aren’t duking it out on a helicarrier and yet I completely believed it was unfolding in front of me.  

Joss Whedon, as I said, has done the impossible—made a great, fun, entertaining super-powered superhero movie. The Avengers is a perfect summer popcorn flick. See it in the theater, see it in 3D. Better than any of the movies that preceded it, The Avengers exceeded my already-high expectations, set by the director’s little-seen but similarly great Serenity.

Rated: A-

Recommended If You Like: 

• Serenity
• Iron Man
• Movies that are awesome

Rated: PG-13

A great alternative to the action-packed The Avengers, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel is a wonderfully-cast dramedy about aging gracefully and having new adventures (and experiences) when you're considered past your prime. I missed all the screenings of this flick due to a packed schedule (which breaks my heart) but it looks like a magnificent, intimate, character-driven story. Besides, who doesn't love Judy Dench, Tom Wilkinson or Bill Nighy?

Rated: PG-13

Another effort to counter-program The Avengers, this movie has potential: A coming-of-age story that explores what it means to grow up in a digital age of constant communication. No longer to teens have to sneak away to talk, they can text or Facebook each other. That said, this looks a little melodramatic/Gossip Girl for my taste, without the biting dialogue. And, with no offense to Miss Cyrus, she's not a terribly strong actress and this movie is treading on her name more than her strength as a performer.